Monday and Tuesday 28th, 29th November.
My new neighbour, who has lived away from Denmark for many years, including several years in Shanghai, lent me an interesting book called 'Third Culture Kids - growing up among worlds' by David C.Pollock and Ruth Van Reken.
I suppose Lenny qualifies by now as a third culture kid - the name that has been coined for children who grow up somewhere other than their own country and culture. He did do a term of school in Hunters HIll, as well as a year at the Montessori kindergarten in Lane Cove, but most of his proper schooling has been in Singapore, and now, Kuwait.
The most interesting and culturally different was the Montessori school he went to for almost 3 years in Singapore. It is a local school, with mainly Singaporean kids, and Mandarin is taught every day. Lenny had to learn how to understand and make himself understood - even though English was the main language spoken. It was a wonderful school, with great teachers, and he loved his time there.
The other two schools have been British based, and most of the teachers are from the UK, Australia or New Zealand. In fact, at The English School, where he goes now in Kuwait, most if not all of the teachers seem to be English, and I believe they require qualifications from the UK. I think it is probably very similar to a high quality primary school in the UK, which means most kids will reintegrate pretty quickly back home. I'm sure Lenny will.
But despite similarities to both Australian and English schools, the fact is that we live in a country that is very different from home. Everything about it is different, and kids have experiences that other kids at home just don't get. Shopping in strange supermarkets full of unusual food, playing with local kids in the park, different schools, having Amir as our driver, and Zoila as our housekeeper, hearing the call to prayer 5 times a day, seeing women and men dressed very differently, hearing Arabic all around or English that is pronounced differently, different sights, being friends with other expat kids and learning what their parents do - some are in the British military, others are bankers or teachers here, some work in retail, setting up stores like Starbucks and other international brands - we are learning more every day about what jobs people do.
Lenny has had to learn to deal with change - and he is very good at it now. He constantly amazes me how 'in the moment' he is - and how quickly he finds friends no matter where he is. And at the same time, he is often drawn to kids of his own or similar culture. I think part of this is that Lenny loves words and talking, and likes to communicate easily. And there is a mutual, unconscious understanding that happens between kids.
Having said that, some of his very best friends in Singapore are not white Anglo Westerners - more likely Indian or South African - Yadav, Akhil, Bharat - but their first language really is English. So far, here in Kuwait, his friends tend to be English.
And now I'm thinking that my brother and I were probably third culture kids ourselves - I'd never thought about it until I read parts of the book. I remember coming back to suburban Melbourne after 3 years living in London and going to Heathmont East Primary School - it was incredibly difficult to make friends and I felt very different from all the other kids. I also remember moving to London and hating school because they made me do PE in my underwear!! unheard of in Australia. And we did so much travelling, all through Europe, every holidays, and experienced so much. Quite a different life from growing up in the same house for 20 years!
I'm sure that is why I find it so hard to stay in one place for long, although these days I do find myself longing for some stability - finally. After all, I am nearly 50! Not that it is time to 'settle down' - I've always built communities and have an almost pathological need to feel some sense of belonging wherever I go - usually through setting up choirs, the ultimate expression of community in my opinion. But I would like to have a permanent home somewhere, even if we are only there a few months of the year. Hopefully, we can do this next year.
Right, now the BIG NEWS!!! Lenny tooth has just come out, after hanging by a thread for days. His big teeth have grown behind his two little baby teeth, which have been making look a bit Bug Bunny-ish for the past several months. My baby boy is growing up!
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