Right, now Lenny has started school it's time for me to make a few friends.
So, where does one start, in a new country, with no job to go to? It's one of the big challenges of being an expat woman, a trailing spouse, a dependent.
In kuwait there are a few websites, but the expat network is not nearly as extensive as in Singapore, where there are practically expat suburbs in some areas. I have found EEK helpful - that is Expat Express Kuwait. You can check out there weekly notices here.
There is also Expat Mums in Kuwait, which is a growing online community. It's quite good, because they are pretty careful about who joins, so you know that members are genuine. I joined, and then one of the women from the group rang and spoke to me to verify that I was who I said I was. I like that, in the murky world of online chat.
And so yesterday I took myself off on my first mission to find friends, to a coffee morning at Avenues Mall, and met a bunch of really nice women, from Australia, Romania, France, Turkey, South Africa amongst other places - some have been here for as long as me - around 47 days! - and others have been here for a few years. To my relief, all the women I spoke to shared my distress at moving here, and all of them told me it gets better! And ofcourse, having friends to share it with just makes it all so much easier. I told them that my husband is worried I may be going mad, and there was much empathetic laughter. Phew. Must tell Michael that my behaviour is normal -ish.
Being a mother and step mother of four kids of vastly different ages - practically two generations - (I have Yilpi/Lila, who is 22 and Lenny who is 7 , and Michael's boys, Ben who is 24 and Tim who is 19 - for anyone who doesn't know) - I fit in two camps - older mums/stepmums whose kids are either at university or working, and have often gone back home to the country of origin - and mums whose kids are in primary school. I was lucky yesterday to also meet two women in the first group - with older kids who no longer live with them in Kuwait. With this, you get the empty nest thing happening, but also the worry and pressures of having to provide (financially and emotionally) for absent children. Moira, from the US, and Carol, from Brisbane, both have older kids, and it is great to be able to talk about them with each other. Also, both these women lived in Saudi Arabia for many years, which is very interesting to hear about. I think I will dedicate a whole blog to their stories, if they are willing, because if there were extreme expat experiences, this would have to be one of them.
Moira is involved in the British Ladies Society, (www.theblskuwait.com.) another big expat organisation that is an important resource - and one I haven't yet tapped into, but I'm sure I will soon. This group has a more historical origin, and is more linked to the Kuwait/British heritage - which is very old - the Brits have been here for many years in many capacities.
As I was listening to women talking yesterday, I felt myself going into information overload - there are so many interesting stories about expat life in different countries - and this kind of meeting is a bit like intense speed dating - wanting to know everything and share everything quickly, and make connections, as well as find out information, thoughts, feelings.
Janet meeting you that day was the highlight to my day.... I am thrilled to have met you. :)
Posted by: Carol Boots | Friday, 04 November 2011 at 04:37 PM